Three

  • the number of strollers we currently have in our possession
  • the number of days I have left at school before my leave begins
  • the number of Texas Longhorn outfits A already has
  • the number our family will grow to on Saturday

That’s right- placement is this Saturday!  We had another great visit this past weekend which made it really hard to leave.  It’s such a bittersweet feeling- on one hand, we are extremely excited about finally getting A; but on the other hand, the foster parents have taken care of A since he was born so we feel such sadness for them.  We know they will always be part of our lives, but I can only imagine how difficult it will be for them to say good-bye.   


Thank you to all who stopped by from LFCA!  I was so surprised to log on to my statcounter to see this huge number of visitors!  Thank you to whoever posted my news there, too!  It’s profound to see how something like IF can bring people from all over the world together.  I pray that I’m as much an encouragement and resource to you as your blogs have been for me.  


 

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Kids say the darnedest!

Last week as I was reading a book about George Washington:
Me: So George Washington married Martha Custis…
H: Oh!  I LOVE Martha Custis!
(pretty sure she was thinking Martha Stewart)

Yesterday during carpool duty:
Me: answering another student’s question while the teacher on duty called for everyone to be quiet
C (my notoriously talkative student): Ssshhh!  Mrs. B, be quiet!
I wanted to laugh, but instead told him that’s not how we talk to adults.

Today as I was reading a book about tasting:
Me: Raise your hand if you like to drink lemonade.
H: Raises her hand and keeps it up because she wants to comment.
     Oooohh.  Lemalade is my favorite! 

And my favorite:
Anytime any student comes up to me, gives me a big hug, and tells me they love me.  Even after I just asked them to change their color.  I love the short memories of 5 year-olds!

Changes

We are both missing little A.  Due to communication issues at C.PS, we didn’t get to see him this weekend.  His caseworker will be back at work tomorrow after her week-long vacation, so hopefully we’ll find out when placement will happen and/or if we’ll get to see A this next weekend.  I’m praying for motivation for his worker- to get paperwork filled out and submitted so we can get him this week, but realistically, placement will probably happen next week. 

D and I both had the day off today (Thank you President #1 and #16 for having February birthdays so close together!) so we used the time to get things done around the house.  A’s closet is cleaned out, his clothes have been washed and put away, toys sorted into piles of those that will stay out and those that will make their appearance later, laundry done, menu made, groceries procured, errands completed.

We had lunch together and got to talk about things.  Things that are happening.  Things that are changing.  We had been planning on IVF this summer, but with A’s impending placement, I asked D what his thoughts were on that plan.  In the past, D has been much more IVF-driven, while I have been adoption-driven.  I believe that while he trusted he could love a child that was not biologically either of ours, he didn’t know what that relationship would look like, how he would feel.  But I’m telling you guys, he is smitten.  He is so in love with A.  When he talks about him, he lights up.  Today, I went with him to get his hair cut and I could hear him telling the stylist about what it was like meeting him, how the process works, how anxious he is to have A placed in our home.  He changed the background on our computer to a picture of A blowing kisses at the camera.  He wants to call the foster parents every night just to hear A jabbering/singing/squealing in the background. 

So, can you guess what his answer was?

While IVF is not out of the picture, it’s not really something we’re thinking about right now.

When we got back home, there was a package on our front porch addressed to me.  I hadn’t ordered anything online and D hadn’t either (and if he had, it would’ve had his name on it), so I took it inside and hurriedly started opening it.  Inside were the cutest clothes for A- polo shirt, blue jeans, yellow rain jacket, blue and orange rubber boots.  Adorable.  My sister-in-law sent it with a sweet note of how she can’t wait to meet A. 

It’s at times like this where it hits me.  This is real.  This is happening.  We’re going to be parents! 

I’m going to be a mom.

The Sweetest Weekend

Oh my… where do I begin?  This weekend was amazing.  Filled with love, new beginnings, strangers-turned-friends-turned-family, smiles (till our jaws hurt), sweet kisses from A, and this overwhelming recognition of God’s faithfulness.  We’ve smiled so much and cried tears of happiness (ok, that was just me); it was truly an amazing weekend.

Here’s a quick recap of Saturday:

  • Arrived at their home at 1:00
  • I fed A his lunch
  • Played with A and put him down for his nap
  • We ate lunch
  • And talked
  • And talked some more
  • They had so many stories to share about A and we just wanted to soak them all up
  • Looked through pictures of A (he’s been with this family since birth… I can’t remember if I already blogged that or not)
  • Downloaded pictures from their memory cards onto our laptop of A
  • He wakes up and we play and play and play some more
  • Watch A eat his favorite food- cheese pizza
  • Eat birthday cake to celebrate D’s birthday (seriously, the most heartwarming, tear jerking time- the cake had a burnt orange Longhorn in the middle and said, “Happy Birthday Daddy.  Love, A”)
  • Get kisses and kisses from A
  • PJs and bed time
  • Talk more with foster parents
  • Leave at 10:00pm (but not before making plans to see him again this weekend!)

I wish I could post a picture, but since he’s in the foster care system- we have to keep his information confidential.  I will say this: this little 17 month-old boy has a 27 year-old guy wrapped around his finger.

And it’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

Thank you!

Thanks for all the sweet words, congratulations, and excitement you shared with us!  We are still on Cloud 9 and can’t wait to meet A.  Speaking of which… we’ll be making a trip to his city tomorrow (on D’s birthday!) to meet him and spend time with the family who has taken care of him for the duration of his life.  I talked to his foster mom yesterday (J) for close to an hour and fell in love with her and her husband immediately!  They are seriously the cutest things and I can’t wait to meet them almost as much as A! 

Anyway, the past few days have been a whirlwind and I find myself not being able to fall asleep at night because of the excitement I’m feeling.  It also feels very surreal and I keep thinking I’m going to wake up from this dream I’m living. 

Since I only prepared myself for disappointment, I never thought I’d actually be the one feeling the ‘happy’ emotions.  But I’m also deeply aware of the heartbreak that’s occurring for the other two families and I think about and pray for them often.  People keep telling me, “You and D deserve this so much,” and “This is your time.”  But I think to myself, “No, we don’t.” And who’s to say it’s our time and not theirs?  Don’t get me wrong- I’m so grateful to have been chosen and praise God for answering our prayers.  At the end of the day, though, we don’t deserve this.  We don’t deserve getting chosen for A.  We don’t deserve the joy we’re feeling.  We don’t deserve any of this. 

But wow- the gratitude we feel, the total awe we have, the complete joy that this life has already brought to our hearts- we are amazed.  And thankful; thankful beyond words.

We got him!

I can’t believe I’m getting to write this post… but the conference call took place today and 90 seconds after the call ended, they called our adoption coordinator and picked us!  I was in shock.  Like any good infertile, I had prepared myself for the worst, thinking I would only be pleasantly surprised if things turned out differently.  Well, they did!

Placement will take place in 2-3 weeks, but hopefully we’ll get to meet A sooner than that.  His foster parents seem to be really sweet (from what our coordinator told me), so I really can’t wait to meet them.

There are lots of things to do to prepare for his arrival in our lives: car seats to buy, stroller shopping to do, and toys and books and blocks and trains!  But for tonight, there’s celebrating to do!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day- the day of the conference call.  This past weekend, I was busy putting together a web page on Shutterfly to display pictures of us, our families, our home, anything we could think of that would show who we are to A’s caseworker.

The call will take place at 10am.  My sweet assistant will be coming into my classroom at that time while I step out to find a quiet place to pray.  I don’t know if D and I have prayed about something as much as we have about this.  Oh wait, we’ve been praying about this for over 3 years! 

I need His peace so much.  I’m not scared about becoming parents.  I’m not scared about becoming responsible for another life.  I’m scared about being disappointed.  I’m scared about experiencing heart break.  But if I keep my focus on A and off myself, I find true joy.  Joy that he will be finding his forever family in the next few days.  Joy that he will have a mom and a dad, a home, a family to call his own.  Joy that he will go to bed each night, surrounded by love.

So I choose to think- and pray- for this little boy who has captured our hearts.  I can handle the heart break.  He shouldn’t have to.

Top 3, Baby!

I remember waking up this morning from my flu-induced coma and calculating in my head how many days it had been since we submitted our home study on A.  And thinking that we hadn’t made it to the minimum number of days we had been told to expect to wait before hearing something.

I’m feeling better.  I don’t feel quite so close to my deathbed today.  I even took a shower and brushed my teeth!  TMI, I know, but it’s amazing how much better a person feels after washing all those germs off.

Watching TV all day is really boring.  Which is why I’m glad I have my handy laptop so I can surf the web all day.  Which can get to be boring too.  But not when you get an email from the adoption coordinator saying, “Call me when you get a chance.”

Which is what I did after I finished all the other things on my to-do list for the day.  Oh wait, I don’t have one of those.  I’m sick.  And bored out of my mind.  And I really wanted to know what she needed to talk about, so I called her as soon as I read the email.  After learning I had been sick (she didn’t need to ask- though I’m feeling better, I still sound like death warmed over), she told me she might have some news to really make me feel better.  D and I have been chosen as one of the final 3 families for little A!

Basically, she’ll take part in a conference call next week where she’ll learn more about A, ask questions about him, then tell them about us and answer any questions they might have about us.  The decision could be made that day or a few days later.  Please pray that if we are the family for A that it will be made clear to those making the decision.  And pray for peace for myself and D- that we will remember that if this is His will, if A is to join our family, that it will happen.

Aaaaaahhhh!  🙂

How to get ready for swimsuit season:

1. Develop a hacking cough.
2. Begin the cough-drop-only diet.
3. Take cold medicine to help ease the cough.
4. Get awful side effects from medicine, causing you not to eat.
5. Take a nap to sleep off the medicine- wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck.
6. Continue coughing, strengthening your stomach muscles.
7. Keep downing the cough drops.
8. Don’t eat anything else- complete loss of appetite.
9. Go see Dr.
10. Answer the question, “Did you get a flu shot?” with a negative.
11. Take the week off from school. (ok, that doesn’t really help out with swimsuit season)

If you can’t tell, I’ve got the flu.  It came Sunday afternoon, went to the Dr. Monday and got started on meds.  I feel awful.  I rarely get the flu, so I guess I kinda forget how bad it makes a person feel.

The plus side: I’m at home nice and warm and not going out in the arctic temperatures.