Kids Change Everything

  1. With the record-setting heat we experienced this summer in central Texas, most shoppers are looking for a parking spot close to the door or in a great shady place.  However, in our car, a great parking spot isn’t determined by distance to the door anymore.  No, it’s determined by how close I am to the shopping cart receptacle.  Unloading and loading at a store is seriously a work of art.  A very strategic set of steps.  Something I never thought about until I found myself with two little ones trying to load back into the car at a grocery store and realized the shopping cart spot was a few parking spots away.  I didn’t think about how I was going to return the shopping cart until I had both kids loaded up in the car… thankfully, another shopper noticed my dilemma and offered to take my shopping cart, explaining, “I have four kids so I know what it’s like.”  I was so thankful and made a mental note to always park right beside the shopping cart return.  And yes, I will drive around the parking lot a few times in order to get one of these spots that I now covet.
  2. I’m sure we’ve all heard from moms about how much a baby changes things, like the amount of time you spend on getting yourself ready in the morning.  I had heard these things, but thought, honestly?  You don’t have time to do something to your hair/ put make up on/ make sure you have spit-up-free clothing on?  What I’ve come to realize is that it’s not always about having time… my problem is I don’t even think about it.  This morning, D and I took A & H to the local zoo.  I got up, got dressed, put make up on, and got everyone else ready.  It wasn’t until we got to the zoo that I realized I hadn’t even run a brush through my hair.  Normally this would be no big deal, but I had actually showered the night before instead of in the morning and went to sleep with my hair wet, which left it frizzy and wavy.  So I dug around in the car until I found an elastic headband, fashioned it into a ponytail holder, and pulled my hair back.  And yes, I realize this whole paragraph might make me sound high maintenance- and I’m okay with that.
  3. We go to the (early) early service at church on Sunday morning because it’s actually easier for us.  D and I get up and get ready, get A up, feed him and get him ready, make a bottle for H and wake her up right before we leave.  We get her dressed and since we only live a few seconds from our church, we take her bottle with us and let the nursery workers feed her when we drop her off.  
  4. H is eating cereal in the morning and in the evening (except on Sunday when she gets a bottle for her breakfast).  I try to get dinner going and then feed her while it’s cooking so I don’t have to while I’m eating.  It’s working for now, but I know the day is coming where she’ll be eating with us- and that makes me smile.  
  5. On a more serious note… and I want to write this carefully because I don’t want it to come across as complaining at all… I am so thankful for these two blessings that God has placed in our lives.  I can’t imagine life without them.  They bring so much joy to my life everyday- A’s silly personality and H’s sweet smiles and giggles.  My life is so busy, so complete.  The busyness sometimes leaves me feeling like I’m treading water, just trying to stay afloat.  And I know that has more to do with the expectations I enforce on myself rather than the expectations of others.  It’s a learning process, for sure, as I accept that I cannot possibly do everything I feel I need to every night, that getting to bed between 11 and 12 isn’t helping anything, and that sometimes, the most important thing I can do (for myself and my attitude) is to take a nap.  You know the whole “sleep when the baby sleeps”- yeah, those are true words of wisdom. 

Reflection

Today H and I went together to pick up lunch for us to enjoy at home- we do that a lot- pick up food to eat at home.  She was happy and content in her carrier as I effortlessly lugged her into the restaurant.  (She may have been small at birth, but she’s a chunky monkey now!)  I noticed a young couple placing their order ahead of me, just as the wife noticed me holding H’s carrier.  The wife’s eyes went from making eye contact with me, to looking down at H, then back up to me.  She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.  Maybe I’m hypersensitive, but I could almost see the pain beneath that smile.  And it was my heart that hurt.  I know that look.  I know that feeling.  And I just wanted to reach for her hand, give it a gentle squeeze, and tell her that it is all well worth the wait. 

Not because I think that my actions would make a difference in her life, or that she would believe me when I said those words, but because I so wish I could go back and tell the Les of last year all that was to happen in the coming year, of the (undeserved) blessings we were about to receive and of how God was going to answer our prayers in a way we never could have imagine; that I could take my hand, squeeze it gently, and tell that Les that the wait is almost over. 

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  Proverbs 31:25

September 7th

Today marks 6 months with A- the point where A has been in our home long enough for us to proceed with adoption.  It also marks the end of the 30 day appeal period for any parent whose rights have been terminated.  Seeing an email from our AFS with the contact information for an adoption attorney was surreal, to say the least.
Tonight as I read to A from our nighttime story, “When God Found Us You”, these words hit especially close to home:
“Mama, will you be my forever Mama?”
“Always and forever.  No matter what.  This is where you belong.  Here with me, my sweet child.  You are mine.  The best gift in the whole world.  I will always love you, and treasure you, and celebrate the day God found us you.”*
I was able to read these words and not have a single “What if?” run through my mind. 
*quoted from memory so I might have mixed the words up a bit*

Overjoyed

I’ve been a horrible blogger, but I just wanted to get on here to say that I’m so happy (so, so, so happy) for my blogger friends Rach and Denver Laura.  Rach and her hubby were selected by a birth mom to be the parents of a precious baby girl that they (understandably) have already fallen head over heels in love with.  I’m so anxious to hear the story of how it all happened (hint, hint). 

And Denver Laura and her hubby were selected to foster-to-adopt a little girl who they’ve gotten to know through providing respite for her previous foster family.  The situation has just worked out perfectly for them and I’m so happy! 

As for us, A turns two tomorrow!  I’m so excited to be celebrating this birthday with him.  His case is moving along and we’re still hopeful about H joining our forever family, too.  It’s amazing to think that just 6 months ago, our family consisted of D and myself.  Now only half a year later, we are not two, but four.  And while it’s only been half a year, I can’t imagine our life any other way.