talking about adoption with A

“Where was Mama and Daddy while I was living with Nanny and Papa?”

That was how it started.  When I told A about having another mommy, that is.  A picture got the whole conversation going, actually.  A picture that had been packed away from the move and just recently gotten unpacked and placed within eyesight of little A.  

“Who’s that, Mama?”, he asked with a twinkle in his eye.  He knew who every person was in the picture.  

I turned the question around and asked, “Who is that, A?”

A grin appears on his face as he points and says, “That’s me.  And that’s Mama. And Daddy!”

“That’s right, A!  That was the first night Mama and Daddy met you!  This is our first family picture.”

He continues looking at the picture so I keep going.

“That was when you lived with Nanny and Papa, before Mama and Daddy knew you.”

“Where was Mama and Daddy while I was living with Nanny and Papa?”, he asks.

“We were at home.”  I pause.  “Waiting to meet you!”

Silence.  

“A, did you know that you came out of another mommy’s tummy?”

“I did?”

“Yes, you did.  Her name is Miss S.  And you came out of her tummy.”

“How did I come out of her tummy?”, he asks with a bewildered look on his face.

“I don’t know,” I answer, not ready to broach that subject yet.  First adoption, then the birds and the bees.

“Maybe I popped like a balloon!”, he says as he starts giggling.

“Maybe!”  

And that was our first conversation (of many, I’m sure!) about A’s life story.  I want so desperately for him to feel comfortable about his story.  To love and honor his parents that gave him life.  And to never be scared or feel intimidated to ask me questions.  

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About leslijean

Adoption. Jesus. My Hubby, D. Texas Football. Foster Care. Not necessarily in that order.

6 responses to “talking about adoption with A

  1. Rachel

    Sounds like it went well!

  2. Aww, Les. Am I supposed to have tears streaming down my face after reading that? I love it so much and I love how you want to make him aware of things. Growing up, I always knew I had a biological dad out there because my mom was really upfront with me about it and I think that helped to lessen my later curiosity (when it came to deciding if I wanted to seek him out) because I knew what happened.

    Last night I finished a book about a girl who had much the same situation as me growing up and her mom didn’t tell her anything until she was 10 or 11, causing a lot of hurt and confusion for her. I think it’s so amazing that you’re letting things happen naturally and for everything to unfold in a way that he can understand it all.

  3. Hi, my name is Stacey. My husband Troy and I are just starting the foster to adopt process here in Austin. I’m terrified of loving and losing a child, though. I’ve appreciated reading about your struggles with the process. Thanks for putting your story out there.
    Daisy6671@aol.com or iamstacey.wordpress.com

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